How To Get A Plumber To Your House In 15 Minutes
It’s very easy – just show him your underwear. First let me say that my plumber is honestly the NICEST guy ever put on God’s green earth. No joke. The truth is that if he actually charged people for everything he does, he’d have been able to retire a long time ago. Instead, he lives by the business philosophy of “don’t worry about it” and “we’ll figure it out” and he is such a genuine sweetheart that you wind up falling all over yourself to give him money. And if you think you will EVER receive an actual bill – dream on.
Of course it helps that he’s cute but has no idea he’s cute, that he grew up in the town I live in and has that total I-know-everyone thing going on, that he NEVER EVER EVER answers his phone but if I leave a disaster message he will miraculously appear in my driveway, and that he can instantly talk me off the ledge by telling me exactly what valve to turn to stop a basement tsunami until he arrives. He also drives a truck that should legally be condemned because it’s so packed with crap (no pun intended) that he readily admits he doesn’t even know what’s in it so he just keeps buying more. But seriously, the best thing about him is that he comes to my rescue. He’s like a knight in shining armor only instead of a sword he has a wicked cool blow torch and all kinds of bad ass wrenches. And, ahem, he really knows his shit.
The first few times I met him, he was saving me from some disaster and I didn’t have time to think about what might be going on in my basement before he was down there doing his voodoo. When he left I realized that an ENTIRE display of my underwear was line-drying and that there was no way he didn’t see them. I decided to take the high road and not say a word until it happened again, and again, and finally we were friendly enough (and he knew I wasn’t exactly Snow White) that I could make a joke of it.
The next time I had a plumbing emergency I left him a voice mail and told him that I needed him to come right away and oh, by the way, I just bought a bunch of new underwear. Needless to say, he was at my house in a flash and the best part was that when I made a joke about the fact that by now he actually expects to see my leopard patterned undies, he looked at me puzzled for a moment and said, that’s funny, I thought they were cheetah (which they actually were). Really? Any plumber who knows his leopard from his cheetah undies is all right in my book. And I’m quite certain that if he ever wrote an expose on the things he’s seen, it would be BEYOND fascinating and would put all of those NYC nanny tell-all books to shame.
The bottom line is that I’m lucky to have him. It takes time, energy, and a lot of trial and error to find really good service pro’s and when you come across the genuinely honest and nice ones it’s like a gift from the heavens. They play a huge part in maintaining and caring for my home and anyone who’s ever had a bad one knows not to take this for granted. Personally, I am eternally grateful for their expertise, their calm and for the way they show up and save the day like the superheros they are. I will also tell you that they are worth every penny, and that you shouldn’t be afraid to show them your undies.